Synopsis: Read on IMDB

Should you watch this movie? I don’t think it’s worth the movie ticket. If someone else pays for it, by all means, do watch. Otherwise, wait until it on TV.

I’m Colombian and I went to see this one the week it opened here in Belgium, which oddly happened way before than in the US. I had my reservations. When Hollywood uses Colombia in any plotline, you know what you get: drug dealing, violence, gangsters with Mexican accents saying the word “cabron” a lot. I was prepared to be outraged. I was surprisingly disappointed. This movie has as much to do with Colombia as Playboy magazine is about the articles. So pack your outrage, my Colombian friend, for you are about to encounter one of the most risible plots about our country.

Cataleya (Zoe Saldana) is just a child when here parents are murdered in Bogota, by the order of some drug baron her father was once linked to. She ends up going to the US to live with her uncle, who also somehow happens to be a badass who beats people up and carries a gun. Cataleya grows up to be a cold-hearted killer who seeks revenge and cannot wait to kill the man who killed her family.
The movie is about revenge and it has very little to no comentary at all about Colombia’s drug problems. The first 10 minutes of the movie are hilarous, they take place in this fictional Bogota in the ’90s where people speak English (that does make a movie lose a little credibility. Couldn’t they afford a couple of Mexican actors to play Colombians?). The drug dealers look every bit like drug deales should look like: dark, tall, chest-bearing shirts with light-colored pants and pointy shoes and thick gold chains. They are surrounded by equally dressed goons with sunglasses and Uzis. The young Cataleya, like most children of drug dealers of the ’90s, is a skilled army ranger with incredible flexibility and the ability to dodge bullets. The grownup Cataleya is even better skilled, she can now use weapons and looks incredibly hot.
For cool action scenes, albeit totally over-the-top, this is an entertainment watch. For a solid plotline, you might want to go look elsewhere. This movie is like Taken (who happens to also be a Luc Besson movie, like this one) without the emotional connection or compelling storyline. The characters are extremely one-dimensional (which is another way of saying the actors they hired were told “you are a bad guy, memorize these lines and say them when it’s your turn”) and with the exception of Saldana, add little to no value to the movie. Except as bullet targets.
Saldana tries her best to show some depth to her character, but it’s not like the writing is that good anyway, so she can only do so much. She does play a pretty kick-ass heroine, very resemblant of Mila Jovovich in The Fifth Element (another Luc Besson movie).

So there you have. Recycle your protest signs Colombians (link in Spanish) and go watch something else. Or go watch this one to have a laugh. Share the funniest parts in the comments section of this post.

Paola’s mood after watching this movie:

 

2 Comments

  1. Carlos León

    Thanks for the heads up old friend. Here in Colombia, as usual, the movie is called in a less disturbing way, “VENGANZA DESPIADADA”. You are right, it was funny. Have fun Paola.

    Reply

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