How to get into a social media argument

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Are you ready to get yourself in social media hot water? Say no more!

All you have to do is talk about anything related to any of the topics listed here. Ensuing arguments guaranteed!

Almost every day, it appears as if people are up in arms about something making the rounds on social media. They have become the grounds for the “damn if you do, damn if you don’t” of the Internet.

But let’s be real. People have argued about one or more of these topics throughout history, from the moment we humans mastered any form of communication.

But social media has made it so that even a harmless opinion shared on your small network, will have the potential to reach thousands, sometimes millions in a manner of minutes.

If you have a knack for controversy, be sure to post or make comments referencing any of the topics listed below. These topics, displayed in no particular order, are guaranteed to keep the outrage alive and kicking on your networks:

  • All rankings of best / worst whatever
  • Displays of sympathy/love/grief over something when the bearer of feelings has not congruently displayed the same feelings over every other similar situation
  • All sorts of opinions and thoughts about the way a woman looks and the consequences of said look (including, but not limited to, her weight, what she wears, her makeup, etc.)
  • Feminism is a good/bad thing
  • And, course, all attempts at encouraging/disparaging gender equality
  • Picking a side in the Israel and Palestine conflict (there are many and all dangerous)
  • Most things the Middle East, in fact
  • Obama
  • In fact, make that all opinions on most political figures and institutions.
  • Even more so when comparing the virtues (and pitfalls) of socialism vs. those of capitalism
  • The Onion and other satire news organizations
  • “Racism is over! / alive!”
  • The sanctity of life vs. a woman’s right to choose
  • Anything LGBT
  • Your religious views (or lack thereof) in general and more specifically on how they affect your opinion on the two topics previously mentioned
  • The Kardashians and known associates, and in particular those with last name Jenner.
  • A person’s questionable taste in music/books/movies/anything entertainment even when the person doesn’t think there’s much to question
  • The impact of various forms of immigration on the fragile economy and social systems of developed nations.
  • Displays of solidarity/vilification of human-made and natural disasters.
  • This food product/family/category is the best / the devil.
  • This cosmetic/medicine/stuff is the best/the devil.
  • All the stuff that has the potential to hurt and/or kill you, even when highly improbable.
  • All scientific research proving/disproving whether something is good/bad (including, but not limited to, climate change, the shape of the Earth, vaccines, GMOs, etc.)
  • All the people who advocate/criticize said research.
  • Parenting advice
  • “My sports team is superior to your sports team.”
  • Failure to state “spoiler alert” on your movie / T.V Show post
  • “But is it bullying?”
  • The color of a dress.
  • Trump (which, by default, will also tackle most of the topics in this list and will definitely provoke an argument in real life, too).

By now, you probably feel your only choice is to say goodbye to Facebook. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You only need to do three two things:

  • Avoid all social media interactions.
  • Unfollow all family, friends, and acquaintances to the point where your feed becomes an endless pit of ads and sponsored content
  • Stick to cat videos. Nope, that’s also ruined

Enjoy!

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