Synopsis: Read on IMDB
The best comedy of the year has premiered to the delight of millions of 14 year-olds! That is the audience of this movie, those who truly understand the importance of having a boyfriend, falling madly in love with him, marry him as soon as you graduate high school, have his supernatural baby until finally becoming a supernatural being yourself. I did not watch this movie on premiere night, but the day after in the middle of the day and discovered a slightly older demographic, closer to my age. They’re either closeted Twihards or cynics wondering how the last installment of this ridiculous story would end.
Should you watch this movie? The criteria explained in my review of Breaking Dawn – Part 1 still applies.
The movie begins where Part 1 left off: Bella Swan (now Mrs. Cullen) has just woken up from her bone-breaking labor and delivery a vampire. So far it seems her biggest concerns are managing her thrist for blood, the rapid growth of her daughter Reneesme (Worst.Name.Ever), and somehow trying to have a relationship with her father without telling him her new identity. But then Irina, a nosey little bitch part of a different vampire coven believes Reneesme is an immortal child and goes to the Volturi (like the vampire supreme court) and rats the Cullens out.
Look, I’m a sucker for vampire stories (get it? Sucker, hehehehe), but this one is not the most intelligent one out there. Part 2 was able to squeeze in a bit more action and a lot less melodrama, but it was just jammed-packed with so much stuff. That book must have been one “woah” after another with the crazy amount of detail. It worked in our best interest, though, because the melodrama between Shiny Vampire, Teen Wolf, and the Constipated chick is kept to a minimum. We do, however; get to see other actors competing for who can do the widest, longest empty stare in the world!
The film was, I think the best of the whole Twilight Saga, probably because Bella Swan is finally coming into her own and being less of a sad teenager nearly stalking her vampire boyfriend. And said vampire boyfriend seemed a lot more chill and almost believable as a human being. Honestly both actors made it quite believable as parents. I was pretty surprised I left the movie theater witout complaining: 2 of the most annoying actresses EVER star in this movie! There’s Kristen Stewart as Bella, and then the lovely and always whiney Maggie Grace who shames her screen dad and his particular skills and just never stops nagging like a 6 year-old (guess which role she plays? Irina…yeah, right)
Paola’s mood after watching this movie:
I couldn’t care less about this movie, and even if I try to make it to the theater, my testosterone wouldn’t simply allow me to cross the entrance. This review was hilarious! I consider it as an open invitation to watch it while drunk and have a good laugh with my friends.